There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
