my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i believe in u and ur pee
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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