I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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