your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
