This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
