The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
