i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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