i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
