The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
