Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
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I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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