toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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