fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
