Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
