i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
