I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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