Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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