I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
