Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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