hotel room ftw
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
