i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
