just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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