I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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