it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
