I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize