Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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