I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
