She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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