I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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