New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
