The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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