i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
