He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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