Cold hands, warm shart.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
