I'm sorry my penis didn't work
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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