I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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