Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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