She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
