he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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