oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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