He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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