We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
