I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The struggles of a small town man whore
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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