I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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