she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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