I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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