I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize