i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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