Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
