Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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