My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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