scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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