You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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