But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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