New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
