great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
