i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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