my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
