i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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